The One Ringtone I Would Buy

Hilarious, They Might Be Giants craft the perfect ringtone (mp3) (the kids love 'em!) for our times:

"Call connected through the NSA/Complete transmission through the NSA/Suspending your rights through the duration of the permanent war"

Perfect.

(available for purchase through xingtone.com)

The Handmaid's Tale

Good news Women-Citizens! Your Government is concerned about the health of your as-yet-to-be-conceived as we now move into the "life begins when a woman/incubator is of childbearing years" years with the concept of "Pre-Pregnancy"...

New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

Among other things, this means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control.

That's right Women-Citizens, your government is just worried that you aren't taking proper care of yourself in your pre-pregnant state!

So if you see a healthy young woman without a child and she's drinking, smoking, doing drugs, not eating right, taking medications, mountain climbing, not wearing a helmet while riding her bike, dying her hair, or anything else that could cause harm to her or her pre-conceived child (eggs?) be sure to tell someone in authority!

The recommendations aim to "increase public awareness of the importance of preconception health" and emphasize the "importance of managing risk factors prior to pregnancy," said Samuel Posner, co-author of the guidelines and associate director for science in the division of reproductive health at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which issued the report.

Prior to pregnancy? That's their standard? So basically from birth to menopause women should consider themselves 'pre-pregnant' and act accordingly.

See, it really is about who wants to control your body and make you a second class citizen. Do you honestly think men would allow anyone to tell us crap like this? HA!

Sad, But True

File Under: Our Media Sucks

Why Would A Republican Need an iPod?

They don't: creativity is for commie liberal fags. So why do they need a 'republican branded' iPod? iPods are made by loser liberal intellectuals.

Everyone wants to be cool... too bad homophobia, class warfare, racism and xenophobia never are.

Big Babies

What babies...

Skewering comedy skit angers Bush and aides

Comedy Central star Stephen Colbert's biting routine at the White House Correspondents Association dinner won a rare silent protest from Bush aides and supporters Saturday when several independently left before he finished.

"Colbert crossed the line," said one top Bush aide, who rushed out of the hotel as soon as Colbert finished. Another said that the president was visibly angered by the sharp lines that kept coming.

Colbert "crossed the line"? Are they nuts? Colbert didn't even come close to the line. You know what? A. Bush has no sense of humor, B. He can't take criticism (I blame Barb), C. You tell him what he wants to hear like he's some spoiled child so of course he can't handle it when reality intrudes on his little world. Big baby. Tell him to have a drink, do a line and calm down.

"I've been there before, and I can see that he is [angry]," said a former top aide. "He's got that look that he's ready to blow."

He's angry? He's angry? Who cares? I'm f@#king angry and Bush is responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of people so who cares if he gets a little angry.

Colbert's routine was similar to what he does on his show, the Colbert Report, but much longer on the topic of Bush, suggesting that the president is out of touch with reality. Aides and reporters, however, said that it did not overshadow Bush's own funny routine, which featured an impersonator who told the audience what Bush was thinking when he spoke dull speech lines.

In fact, some aides crowed over reports that the president easily bested Colbert in the reviews of both comedy acts.

Yeah, those reviews where Bush 'easily bested' Colbert? Out of the same media outlets that Colbert called on the carpet the other night. Colbert stood in front of Bush and the media and told them some pretty inconvenient truths that didn't match their images of themselves and now they're crying like spoiled brats. Good.

As far as I'm concerned? What Colbert did was just shy of that guy alone in Tiananmen Square stopping a column of tanks. It was the great "truth to power" moment that has gone not just unreported, but criticized by people that should no better.

Dandy Don No Longer...

More like Don Rumsfeld, Super Dick:

A full 10 seconds of silence passed after a reporter asked Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld what the intense secrecy and security surrounding their visit to Iraq signified about the stability of the country three years after the U.S.-led invasion. Rice turned to Rumsfeld to provide the answer. Rumsfeld glared at the reporter.

"I guess I don't think it says anything about it," he snapped. He went on to say that President Bush had directed him and Rice to go to Iraq to "meet with the new leadership, and it happens that they are located here," a reference to the heavily fortified Green Zone where U.S. officials -- and many Iraqi leaders -- live and work.

Awwww, some nasty terrorists went and runied Little Don's war game. What did you think was gonna happen jackass? Warfare as we know it changed and you didn't get the memo: invasions will always be met with insurgencies (hell even the French did it!) and they're much more effective thanks to technology... and the vast amount of weapons floating around the world.

Again: what a dick.

The Trillion Dollar War

Now this is a scary sort of graphic that shows the cost of the whole Iraqi-escapade at over a trillion $$$. Nice.

Weird Fact of the Day...

Did you know that 'the base,' as in "Christian fundamentalists are George Bush's base," is 'al Qaida' in Arabic.

Weird.