CSI: Corpus Cristi

So the so-called "facts" that the 'merican people have been offered by nice lady who runs the ranch (and much, much later by the White House) where Cheney shot his buddy just don't add up. Thanks to the general silliness of the major networks, we're all essentially ballistics and crime scene experts, so with that in mind lots of folks have chimed in with their analysis of the 'fact' that Cheney shot his buddy from 30 yards away... so check out the following:

Firedoglake: Calling All Math/Hunting/Medical/Crime Scene Reconstruction Experts

TalkingPointsMemo: story #1 and story #2

Even Jesus' General gets into the act with his typical manly hardness as he sends his 'Magic BB theory' to Arlen Specter:

The police report says that Whittington was 30 yards away when Dick shot him. It also notes that the elderly gentleman was hit in the face, chest and neck. Agents of the Ministry of Truth characterize the shooting as a "peppering." Taken all together, these things would suggest that the shot was fairly well dispersed.

Unfortunately, a more detailed look at the facts reveals something else. Our Deputy Leader was using 28 gauge shotgun shells loaded with 3/4 oz of #7-1/2 shot. That particular load carries approximately 262 BBs. The doctor caring for the wounded man said that he removed about 200 BBs. That means about 4/5ths of the shot in the load struck the man in an area no larger than about 18 inches in diameter.

That seems like an awfully tight pattern at 30 yards. It can only be explained by the existence of a magic BB that would ride herd on the other BBs, keeping them as bunched up as possible.

Yesterday, we learned that one of the BBs penetrated the elderly gentleman's hunting vest, shirt, skin, muscle, rib cartilage, and possibly bone, coming to rest in his heart. I'm no physicist, but that seems like a lot of energy to expend for a .095" BB weighing 1/345th of an ounce. I suggest that a better explanation would be that once the bb hit the skin, it began burrowing into the elderly gentleman's body. Since regular shot doesn't have claws for burrowing, a magic BB is the only possible explanation.

The General: manly to the core.

There you have it: a tight pattern of BBs at 30 yards? The penetrated the man's clothing at 30 yards? Hmmm, me thinks there is something rotten in the state of Texas... oh, wait! Could it possibly involve Dick spending time with another woman? Though you have to give it to Dick, who goes hunting with another dude and 2 women? Cheney is, apparently, more progressive than we gave him credit for.

Must See TV

Thank the Sweet Baby Jesus for The Daily Show and Crooks & Liars. If you missed the Daily Show last night, the opening piece on Dick Cheney shooting his friend in the face was amazing. Must see TV.

Hero of The Day: Joey Cheek

I love stories like this: U.S. Gold Medalist Donates Award to Darfur Refugees. Basically during his press conference after winning the gold medal in the 500 meter speed skating, Cheek told the press they weren't getting the "I've-worked-long-and-hard-and-love-my-country" bit, but instead told them he was using his time to highlight the genocide in Darfur. Take a listen to the story @ NPR.

Civilized Discourse

Yes, Conservatives continue to raise the level of discourse in Washington D.C.:

In a speech in Puerto Rico sponsored by the Federalist Society, Scalia blasted away Monday at those who believe that the meaning of the Constitution evolves over time. "That's the argument of flexibility, " Scalia said, "and it goes something like this: 'The Constitution is over 200 years old and societies change. It has to change with society, like a living organism, or it will become brittle and break.' But you would have to be an idiot to believe that."

Antonin Scalia folks: he thinks you're a moron and should be living like its 1776...

Scalia filed a long dissent in Lawrence, arguing that "homosexual sodomy" wasn't a fundamental right when the Constitution was written and therefore can't be a fundamental right today. The majority's decision, he said, was nothing other than "the product of a court, which is the product of a law-profession culture, that has largely signed on to the so-called homosexual agenda."

There's more @ Seattlepi.com. As always, read and think for yourselves.